Fourth, we can appeal to the Christian point of view. How can I do this? I usually begin by beginning from their point of view. I can say something like, “I get it. I totally get it. If all we are is atoms and molecules. If we’re just another species of life on this planet. If there is no God. And if we only live once. Then everything you say makes perfect sense, and I would believe exactly what you also believe.” But then I tell them that I come from a different starting point. Here is when I give them the Christian worldview, but using a very simple three point framework. I once heard Tim Keller use this, and I’ve expounded upon it in my book Evangelism in a Skeptical World. Basically the three points are (1) Manger, (2) Cross, and (3) King. That is to say, (1) Jesus came to us as a human; (2) and he died for us on the cross; and (3) one day he will return and set up his kingdom on earth.

So, I could say something like this: “I believe in a God who loves me, made me, and saves me. He sent his Son Jesus into our world as a human 2000 years ago. Jesus died for us on a cross, to take away our guilt and shame. But more than this, one day he’s going to come back and set up a physical kingdom here on earth. So in the meantime, I am part of his mission to bring his love, mercy, and justice on this planet. So … can you see how if these things are true, then it completely changes how we might view things?”

The advantage of this approach is that the lights might come on for my friend. Up until now, they thought I was disagreeing with them because I was a religious jerk. But, hopefully, now they can see that the level of disagreement is much more meta than that. We are disagreeing because we have completely different starting points. We have completely different ways of viewing reality. And there’s no reason why their version of reality should be privileged over my version.

Fifth, we can ask, “What would it take for you to trust Jesus?” Here is where we find what our friend’s real objection is. It might be the historical reliability of the Bible. It might be the scientific problem of miracles. But often it will be something more profoundly personal, emotional, and existential. Maybe they’ve been hurt by the church. Or maybe their mother died of cancer and they’re still angry at God. Or maybe they can’t follow Jesus if it means betraying the social group to which they find their identity.

6. Gently dismantle their worldview

But, again, why should we have to do all the talking? I once heard a bi-vocational Christian pastor say that when he was in his secular work, he was constantly being bombarded with questions. As a result, he was always answering these questions as best he could in order to explain the Christian faith. But it also meant that he was always on the defensive. So one day, he switched it around. He started asking questions to his work friends. Suddenly they were on the defensive, having to defend and explain their positions. That’s when the Christian pastor realized that everyone is only two “why” questions away from not being able to give a rational answer. If we do this—i.e., start asking questions—our non-believing friends will realize that much of their worldview is based, not on rational arguments or evidence, but on brute-force statements that they believe at face-value as a priori true.

In the Bible, Jesus often does the same thing. He doesn’t answer. Instead he asks a question in return. When he’s asked to give his views on taxes, he throws a question back, “Show me a denarius. Whose image and inscription are on it?” (Luke 20:24). When he is asked from where he gets his authority, he replies, “I will ask you a question. Tell me: John’s baptism—was it from heaven, or of human origin?” (Luke 20:3-4).

What questions can we ask? First, we can ask them where they get their views on human rights and dignity from? If I am a Christian, I can derive human rights and dignity from us being created in the image of God. Or I can point to Christ’s incarnation—the Son of God became one of us! Or I can appeal to Jesus saying, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).

But if I don’t hold the Christian worldview, where can I derive human rights and dignity from? All I can do is clutch to human laws and conventions. But these are arbitrary social constructs. And they are Western social constructs. So if I speak of human rights and dignity, I’m actually guilty of imposing my Western values upon other cultures that don’t hold to similar views. Without a God who transcends human conventions, the belief in universal human rights and dignity will be reduced to another form of Western imperialism.